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Deep thought – where did I go?

January 12, 2013
missing jigsaw peice

he knew something was missing, just not what…..

This weekend has started on a high (before the rowing catastrophe) because today I had booked a phone call with a great friend of mine who moved out to New Zealand a few years ago. Getting up at 8 was worth it as we don’t get to talk that often with our busy lives and a 12 hour +/-1 time difference.  Talking to her always makes me smile and today was no exception.

We’d set this up as she had been dwelling on our last conversation and my blog entry where I had mentioned my need to make a decision about whether or not I want a family (deadline end of Jan).  While I had deliberately not been thinking about this issue over Christmas so I would enjoy the festive season, she had.  How good a friend is that!

A lot of talking and we got to thinking that the questions I’m currently wrestling with  are not the right ones.  This is actually one part of a much larger question about life in general – and no before you ask we had not been drinking or smoking anything. It came as a bit of a shock to realise that somewhere along the way I’ve kind of lost my sense of who I am and what I want from life (see I told you she’s good).

So, 2013 is now to be dubbed the year of self discovery.  All I have to do is work out;

  • who I am
  • what makes me happy
  • what I want from life

and then go and do it.  So, not asking for much then……  🙂

I think my goals for the year still stand but these 3 things are what I’m ultimately trying to get to.  Maybe what I should add is a principle to ‘try everything, no matter how silly or difficult’ – how can I say whether something is right for me if I don’t at least try it?  Maybe its time to try that yogic flying after all or to become a nun 🙂

Thank you old chum for listening, laughing, advising and then giving me the motivation for doing something about it.  I now want to comb the internet for weird and wonderful things to try, what have you started?!?

4 Comments leave one →
  1. January 13, 2013 8:09 am

    They are some interesting questions you ask Nev. I know I have thought about those sorts of things whilst going through my 20’s. The second and third question I don’t think necessarily needs to be something that has to be defined and fixed for life, it can change as you change. As for who you are, well I think I found I spent a lot of time trying to be someone or something that I wasn’t. When I stop fighting trying to be what I thought others wanted me to be, then I was able to be me! I guess now for me it’s living by a set of standards and values that have a certain moral accountability. I’m by no means perfect, and everyone can have a crap day, but generally speaking I guess I’m pretty happy where I’m at right now 😀

    • January 13, 2013 10:22 am

      that sounds positive and like you have a good handle on your corner of the world 🙂
      my approach has always been ‘one day at a time’ to life and happiness, but I never kept an eye out for the medium term. I figure with close family and good friends along the way it should be fun finding out.
      Thanks for the support, its much appreciated.

  2. January 13, 2013 10:23 am

    Have fun exploring!

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